Category Archives: Jersey Shore

The Situation With “The Situation” Is Fixed

As you may know, last week, Abercrombie and Fitch clothing company has offered to pay Mike “The Situation” from the Jersey Shore TV show a fee to NOT wear their clothes!!  True or not, it’s BRILLIANT marketing, especially the fact that “Mike the Sit” now thinks he can sue Abercrombie and Fitch which makes even more PR for the clothes.  Click the photo below for the full story.

The good news is, because Mike “The Situation” has acted so much like a douche, Masengill has asked him to change his name to Mike “The Douche.”  My information tells me he is seriously considering it because, in HIS terms, (in a Jersey accent) “I know where you put a douche so that’s cool with me!”  Rumor has it that Mike “The Situation” has almost been convinced to change his name to Hans Brinker because someone told him that guy was famous for putting his finger in DIKES.. yeah, he confused “dikes” with “dykes.”

Here’s a Little Johnny joke about, well, you’ll see:

The First Grade teacher gave the class a difficult homework assignment and told them that they had to stay in class and do all of the work.  The class was disappointed about missing recess, to say the least.

In reaction to the assignment, the teacher overheard heard little Johnny say very softly, “Damn!”  The teacher leaned over and said quietly, “We don’t say that in school.”

Little Johnny looked at the teacher and said, “Not even when things are all SOAPWORD up ?!”

Now THAT’S a pretty funny joke, I have to admit but, here’s the REAL story (that’s why I write this blog.)   Gary Hardballs and I were in class and Gary let out one of those “I know I didn’t eat anything that smelled like that” farts.  HORRIBLE!!  The first thing that popped out of my mouth was, “DAMN!”

It was automatic because, every time my grandma would pass gas, my grandpap would say, “DAMN, girl!”  And then, if he realized I had heard him, he would say, “DAMN, D-A-M-N, that’s the word I was trying to think of for my crossword puzzle this morning!”

So, as the teacher approached me about what I said, I used a page from my grandpap’s book.  I said, “DAMN, D-A-M-N!  Gary, you won ANOTHER game of Hangman!!”  Well, Gary thought it was sooooo funny that he laughed out loud (before the days of L.O.L).  He laughed so hard that he farted again!  At that point the teacher said, “Ok, well I am glad that your game is over.  Now whomever of you it was that SHIT themselves, please take the hall pass and go clean yourself off!”

Gary ended up with 2 days of detention for acting like a “barnyard animal” in class!  Thanks for the wisdom gramps!

%d bloggers like this: