Category Archives: Kate Gosselin
Ok, so the Kate + 8 show has been cancelled. Poor Kate is going to have to take all of that plastic surgery that turned her from average looking mom of eight kids to a plastic-filled model mom.
Looks like she will have to use those fake boobs, lips and tucks to go back and be a nurse in some hospital and try to latch herself on to an up-and-coming neurosurgeon or cardiologist. Of course, a peditrician is probably a better choice but they don’t make the kind of money that a surgeon makes.
Well, she’ll have to be a nurse, at least, until her kids are old enough to find drugs and alchol for a few years and then need rehab. THEN, she will be able to sell their rights to another TV show!!! Who wouldn’t want to watch “Kate and 12 Steps of Rehab Times 8!”
In the meantime, old Kate is gonna be SOAPWORD-outta-luck now that she has to put on her own makeup!! Here’s a Little Johnny joke about gettin’ pretty:
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.
“Why are you rubbing cold cream on you face, mommy?” he asked.
“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”
Here’s a story about Durty Kurty that IS true! Durty Kurty and Paul Cusick were sneaking around Paul’s mom’s makeup drawer – trying to see what all the big deal was about. Durty Kurty dared Paul to put on some eye-liner and he did it. Paul then dared Durty Kurty to put on some lip gloss and he did it. Durty Kurty then dared Paul to put some rouge on his cheeks. He did it and then dared Durty Kurty to use the eye-lash thickener and he did it.
They went back and forth getting to the point where Durty Kurty took of his shirt and put on a bra and Paul had his pants off putting on his mom’s panty hose. By the way, they were both 14 at the time.
Well, it just so happens that Paul’s dad came home from work early and walked in on them. He looked at them with complete HORROR — even more than the horror on THEIR faces!!!
Paul’s dad asked, “What ARE you doing? Durty Kurty and Paul looked at him – took a breath and, Durty Kurty, never at a loss for words under pressure said, “We wanted to disguise ourselves from the police because we just robbed a bank, beat up an old man and stole a car and wrecked it into a police car.” Paul’s dad said, “O thank God!”