Category Archives: Little Johnny Give Teacher a Rose
There is a distinct difference between “wanting” something and “needing” something.
Personally, I need one of those spin-around-chairs for my house. For when my kids come in late. For when I want to play old-time amusement park haunted house (cuz of that HISSSSS sound it makes when it spins around) or for when I want to scare the SOAPWORD outta our dog!
By the way, I actually like that show, The Voice. However, nothing against my U.K. friends but, literally, every show we have in the U.S. that has judges has some kind of cranky British judge. I watched reruns of the Royal Wedding and, as far as I can see, not all of our British pals are CRANKY! I don’t know, maybe I’m still stuck in the Monty Python era when the Chaps across the big pond were just plain SILLY.
The GOOD news is, there will be no William Hung kinda guy on The Voice TV show. They seem to only take the reasonable karaoke folks.
The bad news is, I give it about 6 weeks before its announced that Cee Lo had an affair with every female contestant. Either that or, his chair spins around outta control, causing him to come flying outta that think and land with his head, right in Christina Aguilera’s chest – making them look like a box of Dunkin Donut holes! Can you say, Dunkin Munchkins?
Don’t get me wrong, I love Cee Lo and his songs and those glasses – ALL COOL. But he is the epitome of the statement, “being famous just means you get lucky with people WAAAAAY better looking than you would normally get.” I think they should add an element like “The Bachelor” where the judges give their FAV a rose! And if the father of the contestant is there, he can spin around in his own HISSING chair and shoot a paint ball gun and yell, “Stay the SOAPWORD away from my daughter!”
Speaking of roses (you knew this was coming) here’s a little Johnny joke about a rose:
One day the teacher dame to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
She asked, “Can anyone tell m what roses drink? How about YOU Little Johnny?”
“MILK,” answered Little Johnny.
“No, I’m sorry Little Johnny. That’s the wrong answer. Roses drink water,” explained the teacher.
“WOW! Johnny exclaimed. I didn’t think the stem was THAT LONG!”
Ok. As you know, this didn’t really happen. BUT…………………………………………………………………………………………………
There was a day when Paully Causick brought in a dozen rozes for our 5th grade teacher. He was IN LOVE with her and he was nervous as SOAPWORD to give her those flowers. We couldn’t believe he had the guts to do it. There he was holding the roses at waist-high with his flood pants on and his penny-loafer shoes. The teacher, turned around and saw Paully, was COMPLETLEY shocked and yelled “PAULLY!”
At that moment, Paully peed down the front of his pants so fast that it looked like his bladder broke open. Paully, embarrassed and scared, broke the bottom of the vase on teacher’s desk so that the water would run down the front of his pants and camouflage his “incident.”
Well, that shocked the TEACHER – she thought he was goin’ STREET FIGHTER on her with the broken vase. She yelled again, ‘NO!”
Paully ran outta the room to the bathroom and to this day, STILL does not admit that he peed his pants. AND, whenever he is giving flowers to someone as a surprise, he wears dark pants!! Below is a photo of Paully doing GUNS n ROSES at a karaoke bar!!! (Not really but I needed to finish this cuz I am tired!)
Truthfully, Paully had to go thru flower delivery therapy and he STILL volunteers arranging flowers at a local funeral home.
BTW, if you are new here, check out THIS old post about Little Johnny! (Where Jesus lives)