Category Archives: Snookie
Well HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! This blog was started 6 months ago, after a conversation and beers at a local bar with Gary Hardballs. I thought it would be fun to do a LITTLE JOHNNY REWIND and repost some of the more popular links since the start. (Plus I’m a LAZY “SOAPWORD” this week!!!!). Click on the bolded words to read the post.
- Where Jesus Lives – good bathroom humor
- Little Johnny Smoking – How about Katie Perry on the Today Show?
- Little Johnny Learns Construction Lingo – this somehow relates to Snookie too
- Is the Teacher Stupid? – Maybe, but Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook) ain’t!
- Little Johnny Trick or Treating – Where are your buccaneers?
- The Cut Mary’s Weiner Off? – Check out Dicky Dickson’s story!
- Little Johnny You’re NUTS! – includes silly names from grade school
- Thanksgiving Trimmings and Oprah Winnings! – Grandpa carve Johnny’s Thanksgiving Turkey
Ok, that’s it. Have a Happy New Year and be sure to pass THIS page around to your friends. See ya every Tuesday for a min-post and every Friday for a new Little Johnny joke.
Before we get to this week’s joke rebuttal, is anyone else TOTALLY confused when you go to purchase a refill computer printer cartridge? Honestly, I had so many numbers in my head I felt like an air traffic controller.
My CX6600 printer takes a T044120 black cartridge and the T044220, T044320, T044240 color cartridges. But WAIT! They didn’t have them so I had to revert to the on-shelf cross-reference catalogue that reads like my high school trigonometry book and search for a “compatible” store brand cartridge. Finally, I succumbed to the pressure and asked the manager for help. Off the top of her head, she said the T044220 could be replaced by the generic BG77G1 or the store brand 8J4-MQ. She spewed the numbers and letters so fast, that some older lady, who was there looking for scrapbooking supplies, automatically yelled “BINGO!”
So have ya heard the one about little Johnny learning construction?
Little Johnny’s mom told him to go next door and play at the construction site. She said he may learn something as well.
After about three hours, he returns home. His mom asked if he learned anything while he was there. He said, “yes maam”!
She asked what and he replied, “well, I learned that the damn door don’t hang that way it goes the other way, and the dirt pile doesn’t go there, the son-of-a –“soap word” goes over there, and somebody ordered the wrong “soap word” windows”.
His mom immediately told him to go to his room until his father comes home.
Later his dad came home and after the mother informing him of what took place, he called him down and asked what he said.
“I told mom that the damn door don’t hang that way, it goes the other way. And that the dirt pile doesn’t go there, the son-of-a-“soap word” goes over there, and somebody ordered the wrong “soap word” windows.”
Johnny’s dad was highly upset. He explained that they didn’t use that kind of language in the house. He told Johnny to march himself outside and get a SWITCH.
Little Johnny turned to his dad and said “Get a SWITCH? “Soap word” You!,” that’s the electrician’s job!”
When I first read this there were sooooo many “soap words” that I thought I was actually watching Snooki on the Jersey Shore show. Maybe she should hang out at a construction site and learn how to “bang” other things like NAILS!
Truth of this story is, I did hang out at some construction sites as a kid. But it ain’t where I learned swear words! It IS however, where I learned the art of selling sandwiches. Yep, I would sneak over to the construction sites early in the morning and snatch the workers’ sandwiches out of their work bins and lunch boxes. Then, right around lunchtime I would show up with some homemade sodas and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and sell them to the hungry workers that seemed to “forget their sandwich” that day!!!!
The best part is that I would double dip by taking the stolen sandwiches to a different construction site and sell THEM too. It was BRILLIANT!! Who wouldn’t by an extra sandwich from a cute little kid hanging out in his blue jeans, work boots with his toy hammer hanging from the pocket!!!!
I will admit this however, in my real life, when I came home from trying to purchase replacement printer cartridges, and my wife asked how it went I DID say something like,
“Well I learned that the damn printer don’t take just any cartridges, and the high volume black cartridge isn’t easy to find, the son-of-a –“soap word” is a special order, and somebody at Staples didn’t order enough “soap word” cyan and magenta cartridges!”
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