Category Archives: Where Jesus Lives

Where Jesus Lives

We are ALMOST at one year for the blog.  I’m enjoying a sunny -beach vacation from all of the $$ I have created from the blog.  (OK – so I am homeless by a creek but it’s similar.)   In the meantime, here is the second post I haver made as Little Johnny. 

I have made it to post a second week!    Boom, Boom, POW! 

Keep in mind, the intent of this blog content is to ENTERTAIN and not offend.  So, hopefully as you read these, you realize that you are reading mundane writings that were meant to give you something to do while you’re bored at work, or at home watching that very awkward 3rd hour of NBC’s Today Show where Kathy Lee Gifford is used to fill air time until The Ellen Show comes on.  Or even better, you’re using this as bathroom reading.  (By the way, it’s a weird vision of you sitting in the bathroom with a laptop on your knees!!!)  Remember to TYPE BEFORE you WIPE and wash before you TYPE AGAIN!

 JOKE: A Preschool Sunday School teacher was concerned that her students might be a little confused about Jesus because of the Christmas Season emphasis on His birth. She wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.

So she asked her class, “Where is Jesus today?”

Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”

Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, she gathered her wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, “Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!”

First, whoever made up this joke, at least took the initiative to insert a more popular name for one of the set-up characters.  The use of the name Steven makes this joke a LITTLE more plausible as opposed to many of the other Little Johnny jokes where they use the same vanilla names from the first-grade “see spot run” reading books.

However, I have no idea why most of the Little Johnny jokes set up my dad as such a foul-mouthed guy.  Sure, he had his moments of spewing a few “soap words.”  

But the ONE thing my dad NEVER did was take God’s name in vain.  By the way, I’m not classifying the following phrase that my Dad used regularly, as taking God’s name in vain: “For chrissakes!” [ krīs- saykz ].  While he used this in exasperation when frustrated, it’s not a real word so it doesn’t count as a “soap word” in my notebook.

Secondly, just like all the other Little Johnny jokes, this one says I was “waving my hand furiously” to answer the question.  REALLY?!  I wasn’t THAT excited to answer questions in school.  I MIGHT have been “waving my hand furiously” trying to be excused to the bathroom the one day in 4th grade when Jenny D tried to kiss me…. ‘cuz I think I pretty much was about to pee my pants!

Finally, my dad had his own bathroom that he used.  He would have NEVER had to wait impatiently for access to a bathroom.  His bathroom was in the basement and it was full of newspapers and sports magazines.  I think he re-read every article of every publication in there ‘cuz, when he went there, he would be missing for hours.  I never saw it, but I heard that the toilet in Dad’s bathroom actually had an attached footrest that he could put up while he was in there!!

By the way, going back to my opening comments that included Kathy Lee Gifford; she’s been shamelessly promoting her son Cody for years.  Why can’t we get some Little Cody jokes pulled together?????  Email me.

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